Relationship experiments?

Psychologists often receive such questions: “The husband offers a threesome. I don’t know how to feel about this…” or “Husband insists on anal sex. I refuse, but he does not listen to me and continues to persuade me. It seemed to me that it was important to bring up the topic of experiments and non-traditional types of sex in a permanent relationship. Therefore, today I will tell you about how to respond to such initiatives from a partner and what rules must be followed so that experiments do not cause irreparable harm to relationships.

We all have our own sexual fantasies. In these fantasies, we can afford anything, and not be afraid that someone will judge us. However, not all people are ready to limit themselves to fantasies alone. Someone wants to realize fantasies in real life, and then these same proposals sound that put the partner in a dead end.

First you need to figure out if these are just fantasies or your partner really wants to bring them to life. If these are just fantasies and the person fully agrees that they will not be realized, then there are no problems and deviations. As long as fantasies remain within the limits of a person’s imagination and do no real harm to anyone, then let him imagine whatever he wants. Yes, it may seem to you that some types of fantasies of a partner are “completely out of the ordinary,” but this is his business. First, the forbidden fruit is sweet, and the feeling of breaking the rules increases the excitement. And secondly, what is normal is determined by our upbringing and the attitude of society. Just think, a century ago, female pleasure was considered optional and even undesirable, but now the attitude towards female libido and orgasm has completely changed. It is possible that it will be enough for a partner to simply voice his fantasies to you and get an understanding response. This will mean that you accept him with all his features, give him permission to his fantasies.

If your partner's desire to have an unconventional type of sex is not limited to thoughts and conversations, if he wants to try it out in reality, then you should figure out what exactly is behind these desires. Maybe it seems to him that only this kind of sex will give you complete unity, or that such practices will elevate your couple to the status of “advanced”, or he has heard enough stories from his friends who claim that all this has been practiced for a long time, and now he is offended feel out of touch with life.